

Tau Tona.....lol, but what the hell.
If you have the money to spend then you should not be reading this piece, because even if you are fat, ugly and boring, women will still hog you. I don't know why but for one reason or another women find men with money attractive.

But since most of us men are still in the hustling part of our lives, we need that extra edge to get the Ugali Choma, or at least have the Ugali Choma and the Soup for the players.
We need to be funny and interesting and strong and reliable and on time for all these women to ensure she doesn't run off to some ugly a** "Rick Ross" of sorts.
So here are a few pointers to make sure she stays on your side.
Women are talkers, I think all you dumb a** men should know that by now, and naturally this means they require a guy that listens, and am not talking about sitting there and shutting up and assuming that counts as listening. That's hearing, and they have dogs and other pets for that sh*t.

Do that and you will have achieved half of the Lover and Best Friend Analogy.
That being said, you need to be interesting, and I know this is ambiguous given how differently weird women are but am sure y'all can work something out.
You need to make her laugh as if she's being tickled, but with your words. She needs to feel like she has to always be around you otherwise she'll be bored.
You need to show her new things, tell her new things, give her new experiences every day.
Women are like crawling drooling babies, they require new things and toys to keep them constantly happy, and the parent/ guardian with the newest toys always gets the babies attention, no offense ladies.
So take her out to different places, tell her your experiences, and if they are not interesting enough tell her stories about other experiences you have read about or been told, don't lie.
Tell her jokes, be funny, be sarcastic (shows you are real), and when she's least expecting hold her down and tickle her till she can't breath, she'll love that.
Do not be shy, express yourself, make her happy.



Keep your hair neat and clean, whatever the hairstyle, and contrary to what you think, you should shave or at least trim down south, its not a "Girls Only" thing, but don't go do fancy styles, leave that to the ladies.
Wear good cologne, something masculine, not flowery and sh*t. A tip I have learnt from experience, find a cologne that you will stick with, it helps in memory and identification. She, or rather They (For the players in the blog), will remember you every time she smells that scent, even if it's with another guy, and for me that' a big win win. I had a crazy chick once, she would text me whenever she came across a guy that had the same cologne as I did, even after we broke up, so it works guys.

Just make sure you look good enough for her to feel confident to show you off to her friends.
You'll probably notice that I did not talk about the physical body, truth is, most women think they want men with chiseled bodies and all, which of course puts pressure on men but that's not the case. I have come to learn that women will accept you as long as YOU are comfortable with YOU. So instead of working on your body, work on your self esteem.
The last thing, and probably the most important is the bed business or the eating of the ugali choma or the dip stick business according to one wealthy "Sonko".....hehe.

The thing is we were cursed to provide, and like providence you have to toil, that's just the good side of the curse, the toiling with where you reap the fruit at the center of the garden....hehe.
Learn your woman's body, know those spots, you know, the ones that make her close her eyes with her mouth open, and while at it, have only her pleasure in mind.
You need to know its all about her and believe that you can only have pleasure if she has pleasure first, that's how to love a woman. Never put yourself first, that only lasts a few minutes....lol...put her first, and it'll be

That's how you get to the second part of the Analogy.
This is arguably the most important of all, but it has to be accompanied by all the above.
So go out there and be all that you can be for your woman, and if you don't know now you know
.
#Disclaimer: Women will still F*ck you up, but like Mother Teresa said, do it anyway....lol
As always: Charles Mwangi
"Adi Wicky"