What Men Should Know

Its a pity nowadays most men don't really know what to do to get a woman's attention, and by attention I mean for her to find you interesting enough to want to stay longer and know you more.

Worse still is the sad realization that women are actually getting used to this and are "being okay" with boring guys, being okay in quotes because the truth is they are being okay with the handbags and jewelery and clothes and shopping and the money they get from the man. Of course if I had out rightly said this and be dead by now, stoned by the diggers of
Tau Tona.....lol, but what the hell.

If you have the money to spend then you should not be reading this piece, because even if you are fat, ugly and boring, women will still hog you. I don't know why but for one reason or another women find men with money attractive.
I don't blame them though, Adam had everything in the world, LITERALLY!!!, so Eve (It had to be her), and consequently all her other descendants are attracted to men who "Own everything in the world". So I can't entirely blame them, if Adam was a pauper when Eve came into being then probably most of the women wouldn't be in Tau Tona digging gold, no offense, they'd be decent loving beings, not the case now is it.

But since most of us men are still in the hustling part of our lives, we need that extra edge to get the Ugali Choma, or at least have the Ugali Choma and the Soup for the players.
We need to be funny and interesting and strong and reliable and on time for all these women to ensure she doesn't run off to some ugly a** "Rick Ross" of sorts.
So here are a few pointers to make sure she stays on your side.

Women are talkers, I think all you dumb a** men should know that by now, and naturally this means they require a guy that listens, and am not talking about sitting there and shutting up and assuming that counts as listening. That's hearing, and they have dogs and other pets for that sh*t.

A woman needs a man that will follow in the conversation, not just nod and say "yes" or "No". She needs someone that she can tell her stories to, how her day has been and everything else about her life, and all she needs you to do is listen and follow and contribute and most importantly, DON'T FORGET!! That shouldn't be too hard now should it?
Do that and you will have achieved half of the Lover and Best Friend Analogy.


 That being said, you need to be interesting, and I know this is ambiguous given how differently weird women are but am sure y'all can work something out.
You need to make her laugh as if she's being tickled, but with your words. She needs to feel like she has to always be around you otherwise she'll be bored.
You need to show her new things, tell her new things, give her new experiences every day.
Women are like crawling drooling babies, they require new things and toys to keep them constantly happy, and the parent/ guardian with the newest toys always gets the babies attention, no offense ladies.

So take her out to different places, tell her your experiences, and if they are not interesting enough tell her stories about other experiences you have read about or been told, don't lie.
Tell her jokes, be funny, be sarcastic (shows you are real), and when she's least expecting hold her down and tickle her till she can't breath, she'll love that.
Do not be shy, express yourself, make her happy.

Grooming is a whole other thing when it comes to men. I will not give specifics since women have there own preferences (Some want bearded men because it tickles when he goes down south....lol), but there are general rules to grooming.
Wear your size, preferably fitting, unless of course you are the "Rick Ross" type, then you'd need clothes your size....haha.....don't mind me, I have a thing against fat, not big, guys.
Keep your hair neat and clean, whatever the hairstyle, and contrary to what you think, you should shave or at least trim down south, its not a "Girls Only" thing, but don't go do fancy styles, leave that to the ladies.

Wear good cologne, something masculine, not flowery and sh*t. A tip I have learnt from experience, find a cologne that you will stick with, it helps in memory and identification. She, or rather They (For the players in the blog), will remember you every time she smells that scent, even if it's with another guy, and for me that' a big win win. I had a crazy chick once, she would text me whenever she came across a guy that had the same cologne as I did, even after we broke up, so it works guys.

Just make sure you look good enough for her to feel confident to show you off to her friends.

You'll probably notice that I did not talk about the physical body, truth is, most women think they want men with chiseled bodies and all, which of course puts pressure on men but that's not the case. I have come to learn that women will accept you as long as YOU are comfortable with YOU. So instead of working on your body, work on your self esteem.

The last thing, and probably the most important is the bed business or the eating of the ugali choma or the dip stick business according to one wealthy "Sonko".....hehe.
There's no shortcut to this, you need to be good at least 60% or more of the time, they can work with the bad 40% (Mostly they just choose to forget the bad and concentrate on the good dipping...lol), and to do this you need to first be a good kisser, if you are not you'll probably never get past first base.

The thing is we were cursed to provide, and like providence you have to toil, that's just the good side of the curse, the toiling with where you reap the fruit at the center of the garden....hehe.

Learn your woman's body, know those spots, you know, the ones that make her close her eyes with her mouth open, and while at it, have only her pleasure in mind.
You need to know its all about her and believe that you can only have pleasure if she has pleasure first, that's how to love a woman. Never put yourself first, that only lasts a few minutes....lol...put her first, and it'll be
mind blowing.
That's how you get to the second part of the Analogy.
This is arguably the most important of all, but it has to be accompanied by all the above.

So go out there and be all that you can be for your woman, and if you don't know now you know
.
#Disclaimer: Women will still F*ck you up, but like Mother Teresa said, do it anyway....lol

As always: Charles Mwangi
                    "Adi Wicky"